Simple Pleasures

Doing what is right.
My husband’s sweet caress.
My children’s laughter.
First baby steps.
Music.
Lunch with Oma.
The kindness of a stranger.
A bag full of cookies.
Talking to my mom on the phone.
Sound sleep.
Warm water.
Cooler weather.
Late night snack of cottage cheese and crackers.
Laughing with Old Man.
A beautiful secret.
Love all around me.

Things That Make Me Smile

This morning as I was poking around CatholicMom.com I came across this blog post, things-that-make-me-smile.

You guys might already know that I’m really into making lists of the small things I’m grateful for, the little things that make me smile, my life’s simplest pleasures. Lisa said in her “Things That Make Me Smile” post, “Some of the happiest people I know lead lives of great simplicity, but live them with an attitude of constant gratefulness for the gift that is each day.” I’ve noticed the same thing.  The happiest people I know have made an art of finding the silver lining in the clouds of life.  There is always something to be grateful for – ALWAYS.  Happy people know that.  Lisa challenges us to, “Look for opportunities in your world today to smile, and to bring smiles to the faces of others.” She asks us, “What makes you smile?” Here is my answer.

Things That Make Me Smile (This morning’s list)

Waking to the sound of rain.
Listening to Lily play the piano.
Cherry turnovers and coffee.
Hugs from my children.
Knowing that all of Old Man’s hard work is starting to pay off.
A sweet e-mail from a friend.
Having a delightful secret.
Finding time to play on the computer.
Mamie’s sweet songs.

Why Does Only Procreative Sex Fulfill?

I first heard of Father Cormac Burke a couple of years ago when the ladies on a message board I frequent were talking about a book he wrote called, Covenented Happiness. I ordered the book, read it, and fell in love with Father Burke. He’s such a wise man. When I need a reminder of why I’m doing what I’m doing, when I need a pep-talk, when I find myself falling into the trap of secularism, I grab my well worn copy of Covenented Happiness and read myself back onto the right track.

Here’s a little tidbit I read tonight.

Covenented Happiness – Love and Commitment in Marriage
by Cormac Burke

Why does only procreative sex fulfill?

Our argument so far is that contraceptive marital sex does not achieve any true personalist end. It does not bring about self-fulfillment in marriage, but rather prevents and frustrates it. But – one my still ask – does it follow that procreative marital sex alone lends to the self-fulfillment of the spouses? I think it does, and that the reason lies in the very nature of love. Love is creative. God’s love (if we may put it this way) “drove” him to create. Man’s love, made in the image of God’s is also meant to create. If it deliberately does not do so, it frustrates itself. Love between two persons makes them want to do things together. While this is true of friendship in general, it has a singular application to the love between spouses. A couple truly in love want to do things together; if possible, they want to do something “original” together. As we saw in the last chapter, nothing is more original to a couple in love than their child: the image and fruit of their love and their union. That is why “the marital thing” is to have children; and other things, as substitutes, do not satisfy conjugal love.

Procreative intercourse fulfills also because only in such intercourse are the spouses open to all the possibilities of their mutual love: ready to be enriched and fulfilled not only by what it offers to them, but also by what it demands of them.

Further, procreative intercourse fulfills because it expresses the human person’s desire for self-perpetuation. It expresses it and does not contradict it, as contraception does. It is only on life-wishes, not on death-wishes, that love can thrive. When a normal married couple have a child, they pass their child joyfully to each other. If their child dies, there is no joy, there are tears, as they pass the dead body to one another. Spouses should weep over a contraceptive act: a barren, desolate act which rejects the life that is meant to keep love alive, and would kill the life their love naturally seeks to give origin to. There may be physical satisfaction, but there can be no joy in passing dead seed; or in passing living seed only to kill it.

The vitality of sensation in sexual intercourse should correspond to a vitality of meaning (remembering – as we have said – that sensation is not meaning). The very explosiveness of sexual pleasure suggests the greatness of the creativity of sex. In each conjugal act, there should be something of the magnificence – of the scope and power – of Michelangelo’s Creation in the Sistine Chapel in Rome… But it is the dynamism not just of a sensation, but of an event: of something that happens, of a communication of life.

Good Quote

From a book Lily is reading.

“A guest in the house is God in the house.”

I love it!!

Remember the Golden Rule

Remember the Golden Rule!

But simply remembering the Golden Rule isn’t enough. Following the Rule – living it – is what counts! It’s hard to do, though! It comes more naturally for we human types to follow the “rule” that goes something like this: “Whatsover men do to you, do also to them.” It’s easier to live the rule of pay-back and revenge, suspicion and distrust, selfishness and hatred – the Evil One’s rule. But easy and right aren’t the same thing. We all know that. A few times, recently, I’ve found myself living the “easy” rule rather than the “Golden” one Jesus gave us – the one given to us by so many religions the world over. I pray that I not only remember the Golden Rule, but have the courage to live it, to follow it (even when it’s difficult – especially when it’s difficult) in the hope that doing so will lead me to all that is good and true and holy.

Christianity

Therefore, all things whatsoever that you wish that men would do to you, do so also to them. For this is the law and the prophets.

Matthew 7:1

Confucianism

Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.

Analects 12:2

Buddhism

Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.

Udana-Varga 5,1

Hinduism

This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.

Mahabharata 5,1517

Islam

No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.

Sunnah

Judaism

What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.

Talmud, Shabbat 3id

Taoism

Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.

Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien

Zoroastrianism

That nature alone is good which refrains from doing another whatsoever is not good for itself.

Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5

What I Learned From a Fix-It-Yourself Manual

When I was just a young thing (18 or 19 years old) I knew this guy named Dan.  We both worked for 7-Eleven and we both liked to play Scrabble, which I think were probably the only two things we had in common. Anyway, I spent lots of time with Dan until I found out that he had told everyone we knew that he was going to marry me. Eeeks!! He was a nice enough guy (and an excellent Scrabble player) but he talked to imaginary people (seriously!) and ate discarded, out of date 7-Eleven sandwiches, and called potato soup “broth”. Not exactly the kind of guy I wanted to go forth and multiply with, although I’m sure he would have made a good husband for someone.

There’s one thing for sure though, Dan was the ultimate giver of practical gifts! On Valentine’s Day, 1983 (or was 1982?) he presented me with the most unromantic gift EVER! (which was good for me, considering I didn’t want to be romanced by him, and bad for him considering he wanted to marry me). Apparently Dan had, that very day, received in the mail a free “gift” book as a reward for recently joining a book club. Well, I guess he already had the gift book and being the practical, frugal man that he was he immediately realized what a wonderful opportunity had presented itself. It was Valentine’s Day and he had yet to buy a gift for the girl he wanted to marry. There was no longer any need to go shopping for flowers, or candy or a card when the Reader’s Digest Fix-It-Yourself Manual had just arrived on his doorstep!! What a lucky break – for him, and as it turned out for me (and Old Man) as well.

A couple of days ago, as we were preparing to leave the house for the day, we realized our refrigerator/freezer had stopped cooling properly. We moved all the frozen food to an extra freezer and all the refrigerated food to ice chests and Old Man and I went our separate ways. When we got home that afternoon Old Man told me that he knew what was wrong with the refrigerator and that the part we needed to fix it was inexpensive and easy to install. A little surprised at his knowledge of refrigerator repair, I asked him how he knew that. His reply was, “Oh, I just read about it in that fix-it-yourself manual that your old love, Dan, gave you. It’s the same way I figured out how to fix the washer, and the dryer (many times) and lots of other things too.” We certainly have used that book A LOT throughout our 21 years of marriage.

It’s funny how we sometimes don’t recognize the value of a gift at the time we receive it. Truly there are times when we don’t even know we’ve been given a gift until later – sometimes much later. I still say that Dan’s Valentine’s Day gift to me was the most unromantic one I’ve ever received but it certainly wasn’t the worst one (in fact, it might be one of the best ones) I’ve ever gotten – for two reasons. The first is obvious -the fix-it-yourself manual has been a huge help to us over the years. The second is less obvious and harder to explain, but it goes something like this: Dan’s gift is a reminder to me that there is value in all that we are given in life. It won’t always be easy to see but it is always there. We must stay ever vigilant in finding it. There are times when we will discover it quickly. Other times we won’t find the value until we have a true need for it…until we’re ready for it…until we are able to fully appreciate it.

Mamie’s Cicada

Originally uploaded by abroadermark.

See it? There on the fingers of her right hand. Mamie is a regular insect hunter! She’s not at all afraid of creepy crawly things and is always showing off her latest finds!